Do Whatever You Want

Oh, the dread of the must-do To Do list. Break free from the dread and live the life you want. The dread of doing them builds the same as the dread of not doing them. You either focus on them and get them all done, with resentment that you can’t do what you want, or, you avoid them and still don’t do what you want. Tasks move from one day to the next, feeling like they’re never done. What if you could live by want-tos instead of have-tos?

Second Things
Put this quote by Peter Drucker on your fridge, “Do first things first, and second things not at all.” This is rephrased as, “Do want-tos first, and have-tos not at all.” Want-tos are the things that get you toward your deepest wants–the things you would do for free if you could–dreams that you desire with a passion. This desire can be restrained by a constant list of have-tos. You could even be turning your want-tos into have-tos. Instead, write down what you want and the steps to getting there.

A Real Have-To
Some have-tos are real, or so they seem. You may dread going to the grocery store, but still do it even if you have the money to hire a service. You really choose to save money by doing it yourself–a want-to. You may have to get your passport photos done and send in the paperwork, but because you want to travel out of the country, the passport is really a want-to. Cleaning the toilet may seem like a have-to, but even that is optional. You choose to clean the toilet to get rid of germs or to impress company.

Sheer Magnitude
Even a want-to can seem daunting when staring at a big task. Instead break it up into the smallest pieces possible, and do one piece. It doesn’t have to be the first piece, just any piece.

Done List
Keep a running Done list of tasks that you have completed. Every night, every morning and every time you feel like a task is too daunting or bothersome, read your Done list. It’s a reward to see how capable you are. This encourages you to do more instead of a To Do list that demands more without encouragement.

Keep it Small
Yes, do make a To Do list of the first things toward your want, but keep it small. Even if tasks are in the smallest parts possible, a long list can seems like an overload of work. Instead, write down two things that are the biggest priorities and do those two only. Then you can make your next small To Do list.

Urgency is Not Priority
Sometimes the interruption of working on urgent things can get in the way of real priorities. It feeds into the myth of constantly being behind on things. You will find that the motivation of doing what you want to, doing small things, and keeping a done list gets things done long before they are urgent.

Can’t Get Going
Maybe it’s hard to get started on your task, whether it’s from fear of failure or success, the worry about not doing it perfectly, or the fear of not finishing it. You will need practice to change how your mind and emotions feel about doing tasks. Focus on beginning activities and not finishing them. Allow yourself only 20 minutes to work on a task. You will find that beginning gets it done and that you will often go beyond the 20 minutes because you are in the groove of it.

Plan to Play
Plan to work and plan to play. The To Do list and even the done list can seem burdensome if you are focusing only on your greatest wants. Plan to take a break even from your own wants. Plan the time so you don’t drop into guilt mode for not doing something else.

You can learn to act on your greatest want-tos. Keep practicing working on small tasks at a time and within a month, you will be acting with greater confidence and focus. It will rid of you of reinforcing the unwanted habits. It forces you to repeat and reinforce the want-tos so after a while, that is what you do — whatever you want to.

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